"Excuse my asking sir, but people say that the grandmother of the family in whose flat you have a furnished room is your mistress.""Should that bother anyone? She is a good-looking woman who has just turned 56 and if you must know it, she is quite a spicy one. It was her who came on to me. I didn't look for her. I am single and she is a widow. I don't see who can take offence at that. Is it the people? Or perhaps the law?""They say that at the same time you are involved with the same lady's daughter, and that they are both sharing the flat with you.""There are five rooms in that flat, you know. Each of us has his or her separate room.""The lady's daughter is in her turn the mother of a teen-age daughter…""I see what you mean. I must inform you that the lady's daughter is a free woman. She is divorced and free to live her life as she pleases. She has no ties and nobody to give account to. At the age of 37 she is quite…""Quite spicy, I guess?""No, I mean quite energetic. She takes long walks daily. On such a walk she even answered once a television survey among pedestrians on the punctuality of the private minibus service. She gave all of us thus the nice opportunity to admire her over again. Us meaning 'all our fans who come on Channel Two.'""That's not everything. We have been informed that you are also on tender terms with the youngest lady in that family and that she is as well sharing the same flat.""Do you think I should deny that? She is a superb young woman of 18. She is of age as you can very well see. She is an independent and resolute girl. My affections for her are more than fatherly. Would you have liked her, so young and fatherless, to take to the streets and join the homeless junkies in the North Station? Perhaps be sold cheaply by any pimp? Indeed she does work. She models for a magazine of obscure profile. Has photos taken of her posing in various postures. It is due to me that she is able to spend her evenings wife-like at home and not on the street or in strip-tease bars or in Larnaca.""Larnaca?""The capital-city of Cyprus.""Wasn't that Nicosia?""There's much controversy over this island anyway. I took Larnaca only as a precise location for where they all go.""As you please. I have to say though that in my opinion you are taking advantage of these three women who have opened their bosom to you in all good faith.""But you're thoroughly wrong, my dear lady. Myself and the three owners of the flat have an open and clear understanding. No secrets. Nothing to hide. You can see for yourself if you like.""Are you serious?""More than you may believe.""There is only one other thing then: we, the residents, have agreed to give shelter in the attic to a family of Pakistani, husband, wife and small child, clandestine refugees, until they solve the problem of their provisional stay here.""Temporary, you mean.""I mean transient. The plea of the young Asian woman, so pretty and delicate, really moved us all. We have agreed that she could pay her rent and bills by helping with the cleaning in our block.""How noble of you.""But can you guess what happens next? While her husband is away and he is away weeks on end looking for anything to make a living for his family, what else could you do than take his place near his woman. What sort of man are you?""Have you also talked to the lady in question?""No, I haven't. Why should I? What would be there to talk about?""This. And how it came to this.""Well, as you se, I am talking to you.""Perhaps she could have told you better who had the initiative in this and when.""Do you mean it was her who made the first move?""I do not mean anything. I say it loud and clear.""Her husband will cut you if he finds out, you know. This woman is not alone and their ways differ a lot from ours.""Her husband is well aware of everything, madam. You are on false grounds again.""You don't say! And who told him, then? Was it you?""It was he who came to ask me to protect her, so horrified he was by our immorality and by the passes made at his wife by all sorts of men outside our block. Well, in fact I think that it's really no use telling you how everything happened that led to this very delicate arrangement. You would still mistrust me. You are so biased against me. I don't see what I can do about that. But wait a minute. What is it you really want from me? Do you want to take me to court? Throw me out of my flat? What are you after anyway?""My dear sir, I am in no position to take you to court. Or throw you out of your flat for that matter. But I am the manager of this block and I have to be informed about the way people live here and about their personal opinions. About everything in our little block of flats in a word. I do have to care about each resident, don't I? And when we have among us such an exceptional man like yourself…""But I am not at all exceptional, dear madam. I am just the tidy sort of person, a man not so advanced in years who sets his personal life in order with the help of his watch and address book and who doesn't allow himself to be fooled around and wasted.""Physically you must be quite uncommon, though. And on top of that a handsome man, damn it!""Should I take that as an insult?""The heck an insult! A compliment I'd call it!""Thank you so much! Do I have your permission to go now?""Oh, sure. Be off! Hurry now! I say! Aren't you ever going to put my name on your agenda? I have no husband and no children. At my 47 and a university graduate, perhaps I am not the ugliest thing on earth. What do you say? My flat is at number 2 on the ground floor. What's your favorite drink? Brandy? Vodka? Wine? I have everything…"
by Valentin Silvestru (1924-1996)
