Arhip is giving advice to a young film director:"What are your grounds in selecting a book for a film version?""First of all, it has to be visual, easy to put on film.""Wrong!" proclaims Arhip. "If it is visual, everyone will claim that putting it on film is a piece of cake, a cinch, and anyone can do it… When the movie is ready, there'll be lots of visual things left in the book that others have seen and you haven't. If it's not visual, you stand good chances to see what others haven't, while others haven't seen what you have. No matter how bad the movie turns out to be, there are always extenuating circumstances: the book was un-cinematographic. Have you got any other criteria?""I must have something to say of my own about the book.""You miserable creature! So they can claim that's why you chose the book – as a mere pretext!""Then," the young director mutters, "-it has to be at least of present interest to the contemporary viewers…""My God! But it will never be interesting enough to please the contemporary viewers! Better not. And how do you read the book?""How shall I read it? With care and in earnest.""Wrong! If you read it with care and in earnest, you'll realize it can't be filmed. Show me a movie that can render all the intricacies, nuances, subtleties of a literary work! You must read the book as superficially as you can, or else you'll feel sorry for it. Now listen to the techniques: skip the description of the atmosphere, because you don't usually find what you need. We don't have too many medieval castles, not to mention 19th-century quarters or streets; costumes cost a fortune, like props… The characters' portraits mustn't be shown as they are, because we don't have very good make-up artists… Psychology must be avoided at any rate, as you can't plunge your camera into the hero's soul. If there are lots of characters in the novel, you pick a few, so as not to break up the plot. If they are scarce, you add up a few, otherwise the movie will be too static. If the story is set before the war, you stretch it a bit to cover a piece of war. For the sake of the show. If the story is set during the war, you extend some of it before or after the war, or else you'll run out of money. War is expensive. You must introduce a few passages from other works of the same author, so they won't say you only read the book you have put on film. Don't stray too much from the original text, because it'll piss off the literary critics, but don't be too faithful to the text either, because it'll piss off the film critics. Got it?""I got it," the persuaded young film director replies."In that case, which book will you select for putting on film?""I'll use my own screenplay.""You didn't understand a thing," observes Arhip with deep bitterness.Then he begins to explain painstakingly how difficult it is to make a film after your own script.
by Dumitru Solomon (1932-2003)
