by Cilibi Moise (1812-1870)
excerpts · Formerly people used to go to Paris to learn law; now they learn it in prison.· The newborn boy now must have four hands: one for the cigarette, one for the playing cards, a third one for the latest ointment, and the fourth for the ball and cue.· Since the word "pardon" came up there have always been mistakes.· There are two sorts of fat-heads in this world: a small employee and a big fool.· As it could find no host, the lie sought God's help: and God reckoned it would be welcome in newspapers and calendars.· Two things cannot be in this world: merchants without credit and politics without strife.· Ladies and Gentlemen, I discovered the means to get rich: I shall give every truth teller a penny, and all the liars will give me one penny.· The poor broom dealers are filing complaints, because they have no longer been in demand since women began to sweep their houses and the streets with their dresses.· One late night poverty came over to see Cilibi Moise, who asked her: "Where have you been all this time?" Poverty replied, "Your kind is not the only one I must deal with, I've got some bigger houses to attend to."· Two things are rare in our country: sober beggars and rich gamblers.· Three things are never empty in the city of Bucharest: registers, ponds, and jails.· I would gladly pay some of my creditors, but I'm afraid the others might find out.· Once man would bury his money, nowadays it is money that buries man.· Girls are always a liability: when they sleep, they stretch and grow up; when they wake they ask for food; and after lunch they want fashion.· A girl gave birth three months after her wedding, and her husband held her accountable, claiming that, if she kept giving birth every three months, how was he supposed to feed all those babies?· There are three kinds of people whom the other people are wrong about: when they assume that a banker must have money, a bookseller is also an editor, and a close-lipped man is wise.· In my trips I found out that prison plans are wrong: they should have built higher ceilings to make room for the bigwigs too.· On St. George's day and on St. Dimitrie's day, Cilibi Moise always has a couple of houses: the one he lives in which he is not allowed to leave [by the landlord], and the one he wants to move to which he cannot pay.· One day great embarrassment fell upon Cilibi Moise: burglars broke in at night and they found nothing.· The first craft was building ships, the second was the railroad track, the third was the telegraph, the fourth was the English balloon that floated in the air, and the fifth was Cilibi Moise who is providing for ten souls without any capital.· It's been thirty years since poverty has been hanging out with me, and fourteen years since I went into politics: now I'm fed up with politics, but poverty is not fed up with me.· Before his demise, Cilibi Moise will pass on his entire earthly possessions to the peasants in a village, for they will commemorate him when the priest hammers the bell-board, unlike his children who would hammer away at squandering them.· People buy gloves from the haberdashers' at four pennies a pair, and three days later they are already ragged; better buy from Moise the Jew at one penny, ready-ragged.
by Cilibi Moise (1812-1870)
by Cilibi Moise (1812-1870)