Jean Clement is a distinguished, refined gentleman, always wearing gloves, striped trousers, and a bowler hat. He is a machines buff: in his cell, straddling his cane, he drives an invisible car, imitating the sound of the klaxon with his voice. When approached, he feigns braking, locks up his car with a key, and replies in his polite, polished classical French. […] It's no use mentioning the reason why he was locked up. A distinguished gentleman riding a cane and simulating a klaxon with his voice will convince any onlooker about his craziness at once. Dawn… Now free, Jean Clement goes down the street and, finding a bicycle leaning against a fence, rings its bell, then gets up on it and rides away, in his striped trousers and bowler hat. In a villa, gangsters are about to overpower a nice lady in a dressing gown and tie her up, when… Clement sees a car on the road, stops his bicycle, props it against the wall and sounds the car's klaxon. Inside the house, the gangsters let go of the woman and rush to the window. Clement gets in the car and drives off. The woman, who regained her composure, shoots at the running gangsters and hits one. The others hail a cab to chase Clement, who ignores the entire drama. In a bar, a guy is trying to cut a smuggled cigarettes deal with the boss. The stuff is outside, in a truck he winks at. Clement arrives right at this moment, looks at the truck, gets in, sounds the horn and drives off again. The gangster runs after him, while the boss is calling the gang leader. In the wood, two shady guys tempt a little skinny, but very elegant boy with candies and [force him?] to get in their car – it's a kidnap. The boy goes with them. The car is parked by the curb. The driver is sitting in the front seat and cannot be seen. The gangsters and the boy get in the car. The klaxon is heard, the car moves. A guy starts running after the car and gesturing – it's the car driver. The gangsters see him and turn their eyes to the driver of their car. It's Clement! But they cannot gun him down in the center of Paris. Besides, Clement does some amazing tricks with the car, scaring away the traffic wardens, driving on the sidewalks, turning about in mid-traffic, etc. In front of a police station, he almost runs over a policeman before pulling up. The policemen get on. "Gentlemen, I've got a job for you," says Clement, while the policemen look at the two gangsters and the child. "It's Scarface," says one of them. They arrest him. Meanwhile, Clement was playing with the klaxon of the policeman's motorcycle. He gets on it in the twinkling of an eye. In front of the 30th arrondissement town hall, a group surrounds an old gentleman dressed as a bridegroom, with flower bouquets, etc. The group is waiting… Clement arrives on the motorcycle, stops, and watches. A big car is bringing the bride – young, beautiful, with burning eyes. She is weeping and crying out: I don't want to marry him! The car stops, the driver gets out. There is no rush to get out of the car, because the bride is still crying her eyes out. The two old women on her sides are trying to persuade her and wipe her tears. Clement has come near. The old fiancé slobbers with joy. The old women get out first. The car door is half open for the bride to get out. Clement jumps at the wheel and drives off like a whirlwind, door open, to everybody's bewilderment. He turns to cast a knowing glance at the bride, and closes the door while driving. The bride smiles, the marriage has conked out. The car stops by a bus terminal. Clement gets out, opens the door. The bride thanks him, bur Clement is already gone. A long line of people between two chains is waiting for a bus that is not there. The people are laughing because a deaf old woman has got on a bus with a DOES NOT LEAVE sign hanging. To everybody's astonishment, Clement gets on the bus and drives it off. The line breaks, the people run after the bus in vain. From time to time, Clement turns his head, waiting for the old woman's consent; she nods. The bus passes by a stop without halting, cuts corners, gets to the green countryside, takes to random pathways, then stops. The old woman gets off: Thank you, she says, I'm home! Montmartre at night; before a beautiful Rolls parked in front of the "Lapin vert," two traffic wardens are gesticulating: "As soon as the guy walks out and gets in the car, we'll grab hold of him…" Clement is in the pub. A man passes by, almost brushing against him, the tip of a pearl necklace hanging out of his pocket. Clement grabs it; a woman is crying: "My necklace was stolen!" Clement goes to her: "Here it is, Madam." He sits at a bar; a gentleman is courting a lady. […] A policeman draws near, speaks to the bartender. You're looking for snow, says Clement, but it's everywhere. With a quick move, he opens the lady's purse, takes out her compact and opens it; then empties a big ashtray, undoes its bottom lid; the snow is there; he smiles and leaves the pub. Nice surprise. FINAL SCENEDoctors on a visit; Clement is cheerless, then, suddenly, his hand finds something in his pocket, a small toy plane. He gets it going, the airplane takes off and, as the doctor turns, it breaks his monocle. Clement imitates the noise of the engine with his voice. This sketch is only a ground layer. A hundred other gags are possible instead of my own. The important thing is to keep to the mainline. With every change of vehicle, a drama sets off or comes to an end. The surprise effect is the essence of the sketch. It can only be achieved if the comedian acts poker-faced and preserves a dignified posture.Claude Dauphin-Jean-Louis Barrault-Georges Rollin.If need be, but only if need be, if the others are unavailable, Carette. It is absolutely necessary to rid the audience of the embarrassing feeling that they are seeing a comical, but crazy sketch. Speed and mechanisms are the modern crazes, which the spectator understands best. It is the madman alone that seems reasonable, in a world of crazy people.
by B. Fundoianu (Fondane) (1898-1944)
